The Dark Side Of Me

Analgasia

2011-03-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

Always disappointed,
Poisoned dreams disjointed.
Never had it in me to sew them up,
They’ve screwed me up.

Bridge:

And now you can be sure that
The only thing I’m good at
Is dealing with my pain.

Chorus:

Bits and pieces of you in my blood
Just like morphine – never enough.

If I dare bleed you out of my vein
Will I be dead or else go insane?

Stillborn from the start,
Heartless hopes coming apart.
Never had the will to bring them to life,
They’ve left me in spite.

Bridge:

And now you can be sure that
The only thing I’m good at
Is dying in my pain.

Chorus:

Bits and pieces of you in my blood
Just like morphine – never enough.

If I dare bleed you out of my vein
Will I be dead or else go insane?

Trespassing

2010-08-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

I don’t think it’s safe just yet
To let myself go out in the sun.
Now I know better than that,
I’ve been burnt more than once.

Bridge:

You taught me to never trust
Another human being but us.
I’ve learnt how to feel hatred,
Now you watch me betray it.

Chorus:

How could I let you in?
You tore to pieces all within.
How could I let this be?
You poisoned the innermost of me.

I think it’s not safe any more
To waste myself away in your arms.
Now that I’ve seen it before,
I’ve been under the spell of your charms.

Bridge:

You taught me to never trust
Another human being but us.
I’ve learnt the hard way from you,
Never accept someone else’s truth.

Chorus:

How could I let you in?
You tore to pieces all within.
How could I let this be?
You poisoned the innermost of me.

I Used To Be

2010-08-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

It’s easier to see in the dark
When light’s been out for ages.
Forgotten wishes on a star
And fading ink on dusty pages.

Bridge:

Don’t come for me, don’t save me.
Enough ghosts to haunt and blame me.

Chorus:

I used to be so strong like you.
I used to live in this world like you do.
Now I don’t breathe like I used to.
I don’t belong here like I used to do.

It’s harder to breathe in the air
When pain’s excruciating my lungs.
Door knockings with noone there
And reveries frozen in the cold sun.

Bridge:

Don’t come for me, don’t save me.
Enough ghosts to haunt and blame me.

Chorus:

I used to be so strong like you.
I used to live in this world like you do.
Now I don’t breathe like I used to.
I don’t belong here like I used to do.

I don’t belong here like I used to do.
There was time when I was just like you.
I was strong enough to face the truth.

Where It Ends

2010-08-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

Pour your venomous words
Into a glass of fate.
So lethal it doesn’t even hurt
As I drink to decay.

Bridge:

No second thoughts
Before murdering our dream?
What are the odds
On you hearing it scream?

Chorus:

So go down this lonely road.
Go alone, grow cold and old.
So go down this lonely road.
Go on but know you’re told

Just where it ends.

Lock my revengeful tears
Away safe in a box.
So you can revisit your fears
As if cuffed in stocks.

Bridge:

No second thoughts
Before murdering our dream?
What are the odds
On you hearing it scream?

Chorus:

So go down this lonely road.
Go alone, grow cold and old.
So go down this lonely road.
Go on but know you’re told

Just where it ends.

World Inside

2010-07-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

It makes me nauscious, this sadness
And I’m so sick of being mad at this
State that I’m in.

I’m choking on the same old memories
But can’t spit them out, on my knees
I crawl back within –

Chorus:

A world inside
Bereft of salvation.
You left behind
A trail of devastation.

And I’ve bonded
With loneliness, have I?
All I’ve wanted
Crumbled and have died!

It makes me cautious, this madness
Cuz I’m that close to jumping at this
Chance to fall in.

I’m walking the wrong way to Heaven
My deathly sins more than just seven
They’re burried within –

Chorus:

A world inside
Bereft of salvation.
You left behind
A trail of devastation.

And I’ve bonded
With loneliness, have I?
All I’ve wanted
Crumbled and have died!

I crawl back within –
A world inside.
I’m burried within –
A world you left behind.

Happily NEVER After

2010-07-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

I’ve spent my whole life dreaming
Without living out not one.
I’ve wondered in darkness screaming
Without ever seeing the sun.

Bridge:

I’ve been on a guilt trip for so long.
Turn-back bridges all burnt and gone.

How do I pray now, if I’m unforgiven?
If I’m empty inside, why keep living?

Chorus:

My heart reeks of anger and regret
For my happily ever after I never deserved to get.
I’ve spent my whole life dreaming
But my happily never after left me here bleeding.

I’ve been left stranded on this road
Without directions and signs.
I’ve wondered in darkness cold and alone
Without anyone there to find.

Bridge:

I’ve been on a guilt trip for so long.
Turn-back bridges all burnt and gone.

How do I pray now, if I’m unforgiven?
If I’m empty inside, why keep living?

Chorus:

My heart reeks of anger and regret
For my happily ever after I never deserved to get.
I’ve spent my whole life dreaming
But my happily never after left me here bleeding.

My Judgement Day

2010-07-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

You’re running through my veins
Like a liquid memory of crimson tears.
Now I’m bleeding but you remain.
Open-skinned and going cold with fear.

Bridge:

You have to let go of my soul.
Let go now, I’m next in the row.

Chorus:

It’s raining on my Judgement Day.
I wonder if it will wash my sins away?
It’s raining on my Judgement Day.
I wonder if it will make it all go away?

I’m running up a hill so green
Like nothing I have seen before in life.
Now I’m free unless it ‘s a dream.
I’m holding your hand forever in mine.

Bridge:

You don’t have to let go of my soul.
Don’t let go now, I’m next in the row.

Chorus:

It’s raining on my Judgement Day.
I wonder if it will wash my sins away?
It’s raining on my Judgement Day.
I wonder if it will make it all go away?

Don’t let go now.
Don’t let go now.
Don’t let go now.

I’m holding your hand forever in mine.

Reminiscent Song

2010-07-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Hauntingly,
Memories drown in my tears.
Haunting me,
Their ghosts return only unclear.

Bridge:

And amidst a painful blur
I’m standing still and hurt.

Chorus:

Everytime it feels like I
Have no heart inside

To break again.

Everytime it feels like I
Have already died

In this pain.

Irrevocably,
Dreams have amounted to fears.
Evoke in me
The scent of darkness lurking here.

Bridge:

And amidst a painful lure
I’m standing still and hurt.
Chorus:

Everytime it feels like I
Have no heart inside

To break again.

Everytime it feels like I
Have already died

In this pain.

I have no heart inside,
I have already died

In this pain.

I have already died,
I have no heart insid

To break again.

EVERYTIME IT FEELS LIKE THIS.

Blind Lie

2010-07-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

I despise

Your ignorance of my emotions
Like you’re from a different kind.
Rubbing salt instead of lotion
On these wounds that cannot lie –

Bridge:

That they know who you truly are
And they really hate you for each scar.

Chorus:

But I’m unable to face the truth.
I am blind when it comes to you.
And I’m not meant to know the truth
That I am able to live without you.

I compromise

With every wrong you do to me
Like hurting my feelings is fine.
Starting to question my sanity
As if I’m choosing to live a lie –

Bridge:

But I should know who you truly are
And I should really hate you for each scar.

Chorus:

And I am able to face the truth
I’m not blind when it comes to you.
And I am meant to know the truth
That I am able to live without you.

I know who you truly are
And I yes I hate you for each scar.

In Your Heart

2010-07-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

Your every word
An edge of a knife.
A crimson tear
Crawls down inside.

But

I’ll prove to you
My flesh and blood.
I’ll bleed for you
A piece of my heart.

Then

Chorus:

I’m a ghost.
My soul is fit for no hell
But the one that burns in your heart.
I’m a ghost.
My soul is fit for no grave
But the one that you’ve torn apart

For me to lie in your heart.

And every time
I reach out for you
You never see
The things I do.

But

I’ll prove to you
My love and pain.
I’ll bleed for you
This dark blue vein.

Then

Chorus:

I’m a ghost.
My soul is fit for no hell
But the one that burns in your heart.
I’m a ghost.
My soul is fit for no grave
But the one that you’ve torn apart

For me to lie in your heart.
Just let me lie in your heart.

Hospital Wing

2010-05-22T02:32:00.000-07:00

I can see the shadows

Of the real things outside

Crawl upon pale walls

Then disappear in the night.

BRIDGE:

In this hospital wing

Ghosts are still looking for their way back in.

CHORUS:

They’ve been injecting faith

Into my veins.

They’ve been blocking pain

Signals to my brain.

But I’m already a ghost of a man.

And I’m ready to let go of your hand.

It’s getting cold in here

Though I can see the sun outside

Shining through my tears

One last time a ray of light.

BRIDGE:

In this hospital wing

Ghosts are still looking for their way back in.

CHORUS:

They’ve been injecting faith

Into my veins.

They’ve been blocking pain

Signals to my brain.

But I’m already a ghost of a man.

And I’m ready to let go of your hand.

But I’m already a ghost of a man.

And I’m ready to let go of your hand.

In this hospital wing

I’m still looking for my way back in.

Nobody Said (It's Gonna Be Easy)

2010-05-06T13:49:00.000-07:00

This is not how we’ve meant it to be.

You said we were different, you and me.

We’re in the same boat yet it feels like it’s just me

Now the tide is rising, your boat is too narrow for me.

Bridge:

Am I losing my control?

Is this the plane crashing or just a turbulance we gotta go

Through, we gotta pull through, I know.

Am I choosing to go?

Is this the train derailing or just the way it goes it shows

Our true faces, we must face it, I know.

Chorus:

Nobody said it’s gonna be easy.

Just learn to hold on to me.

Nobody said it’s getting easier.

Just don’t ever let go of me.

This is exactly what we thought it would be

Secretly,we’re not an exception, you and me.

We’re in it together so let’s work it out, shall we?

Now the tide is rising, don’t rock the boat, agreed?

Bridge:

Am I losing my control?

Is this the plane crashing or just a turbulance we gotta go

Through, we gotta pull through, I know.

Am I choosing to go?

Is this the train derailing or just the way it goes it shows

Our true faces, we must face it, I know.

Chorus:

Nobody said it’s gonna be easy.

Just learn to hold on to me.

Nobody said it’s getting easier.

Just don’t ever let go of me.

Chorus:

Nobody said it’s gonna be easy.

Just learn to hold on to me.

Nobody said it’s getting easier.

Just don’t ever let go of me.

Breathe

2010-05-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

You’re too proud

To let me clean your wounds

And stop the bleeding.

You don’t know how

To let me in but soon

You will be needing

Me to breathe…

CHORUS:

Breathe, my love.

Breathe in my love.

You’re safe with me.

Bleed not, my love.

You need my love.

You’ll stay with me.

You’re too scared

Beneath your icecold face

That you’ll freeze to death.

But I’m out there

I’ve waited to embrace

All fears that you dread

You will breathe…

CHORUS:

Breathe, my love.

Breathe in my love.

You’re safe with me.

Bleed not, my love.

You need my love.

You’ll stay with me.

Subconscious

2009-12-30T04:27:00.000-08:00

I scratch your skin,
Collect my broken nails as souvenirs.
What I hold within
Buried for so long it smells like rotten tears.

Chorus:

I only dwell inside your dreams.
Six feet “undermind” I scream
For you to remember what I mean.

You don’t even bleed
As I have my name scarred upon your lips
My heart skips a beat
Are you real or am I not, losing reality grip?

Chorus:

I only dwell inside your dreams.
Six feet “undermind” I scream
For you to remember what I mean.

Remember what I mean.
I’m just as real as I seem.
Remember what I mean.

Doubting Thomas

2009-12-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

There’s nothing left inside

Not even broken bones.

Who’s to tell I’m still alive?

I have fallen long ago.

Chorus:

What if heaven’s had enough?

What if we’re unworthy of love?

My whole life I’ve refused to believe in

The one who now watches me die unforgiving.

There’s nothing left outside

But an abandoned railway yard.

What can stop this knife

From cutting out a rotten human heart?

Chorus:

What if heaven’s had enough?

What if we’re unworthy of love?

My whole life I’ve refused to believe in

The one who now watches me die unforgiving.

This world

Is such a lonely place to die.

There is noone

Not one to hear you cry.

Hierarchy of Angels

2009-12-03T13:04:00.001-08:00

Forgive me,

I've changed.

Nothing human

Remained.

Bridge:

The last breathing hopes

Suffocated.

Our nature and our souls

Intoxicated.

Chorus:

It's the last you'll see of me.

Hold my hand and let go of me.

We're to blame for what is done.

The world is ending, the time has come.

And not one of all the angels

Shall have mercy on us.

And not one of all the angels

Shall raise our souls from bones and dust.

You grieve me,

I've been slain

By my own hand

In the acid rain.

Bridge:

The last divine bit in us

Desecrated.

Our nature and our souls

Intoxicated.

Chorus:

It's the last you'll see of me.

Hold my hand and let go of me.

We're to blame for what is done.

The world is ending, the time has come.

And not one of all the angels

Shall have mercy on us.

And not one of all the angels

Shall raise our souls from bones and dust.

Lost

2009-11-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

You’re just a human being
And that’s good enough.
What’s keeping you from seeing
Is the fear of being loved,

Bridge:

It is your hate
But really you are hurt.
I was too late
To save me from your hell on earth.

Chorus:

This burden crushing your bones
Brings me to my knees.
These people casting their stones
Will be the death of me.

With wrists nailed on your cross,
I’m with you, just as lost.

I’m just a human being
Is that good enough?
What I do is look for meaning
Of your fear of being loved.

Bridge:

It is your hate
But really you are hurt.
So just you wait
I’ll save you from your hell on earth.

Chorus:

This burden crushing your bones
Brings me to my knees.
These people casting their stones
Will be the death of me.

With wrists nailed on your cross,
I’m with you, just as lost.

I’m with you, just as lost.

KiLLeR

2009-11-05T08:44:00.001-08:00

You abandoned me

When I needed you the most.

Now you have to bury me

Another of your hundred ghosts.

Bridge:

How do you sleep at night?

Afraid of turning out the light?

What do you dream about?

Worried sick the truth will out?

Chorus:

What does it mean to you,

My flatline?

I don’t mind.

Now I’m dead just like you

But I did find

Peace of mind

That you never will.

Hope you never will.

Can’t you feel anything

Killing what you’re made to love.

Now you have to let go of it

And be an empty shell and falling off.

Bridge:

How do you sleep at night?

Afraid of turning out the light?

What do you dream about?

Worried sick the truth will out?

Chorus:

What does it mean to you,

My flatline?

I don’t mind.

Now I’m dead just like you

But I did find

Peace of mind

That you never will.

Hope you never will.

You’re dead inside.

Have already died alive.

You’re dead inside.

Have taken your own life.

Now I’m dead just like you

But I did find

Peace of mind

That you never will.

Hope you never will.

Self-Fullfilling Prophecy

2009-10-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

These ghosts they claw at me
As if blood runs in their veins.
They’re as real as is the pain.

These dreams they show to me
Where I’d lie crimson-stained.
Wide awake I still feel drained.

Chorus:

I’ve known, oh have I known
You never loved me, ever loved me.
I’ve gone this far, so far alone.
You never loved me, ever loved me.

I’ve known, I always have.
You couldn’t love such as myself.

These cuts they’re still bleeding
Till not a drop of blood remains.
A ghost of a man, no more sane.

These ways they’re so misleading
I’ll end up lying crimson-stained.
Sound asleep. Lifeless. Drained.

Chorus:

I’ve known, oh have I known
You never loved me, ever loved me.
I’ve gone this far, so far alone.
You never loved me, ever loved me.

I’ve known, I always have.
You couldn’t love such as myself.

Heal You

2009-10-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

Your suffering has slain me
in the most hideous of ways.
Your human beingness has stained me,
this dirt on my soul I thurst to erase

For it wrenches God from me…

Bridge:

My devil’s scar,
come rest in my arms
and I’ll be your deliverance!

Chorus:

I’ll restore your hearing,
your speech and your sight.
I’ll heal your wounds searing
and soothe your troubled mind.
I’ll cleanse your demons
and raise you from the dead.
When your frail humanity weakens
I’ll walk on water to keep your head.

Let me heal you…

Your transgressions have hurt me
as if driving thorns into my head.
Your primary lust has burnt me,
exhorting me to bleed and tear myself to shreds

For God has abandoned me…

Bridge:

My devil’s scar,
come rest in my arms
and I’ll be your deliverance!

Chorus:

I’ll restore your hearing,
your speech and your sight.
I’ll heal your wounds searing
and soothe your troubled mind.
I’ll cleanse your demons
and raise you from the dead.
When your frail humanity weakens
I’ll walk on water to keep your head.

Let me heal you…

Rain-Washed

2009-10-09T04:52:00.000-07:00

[Rain-Washed]

This is not the time

To look for things I didn’t find.

They’ve come to pass now.

This is not the time

To see that I’ve been blind.

It’s too much to ask now.

Bridge:

Too long

I’ve remembered now to forget

The wrong

You did I savored without regret.

Chorus:

I will stand tall.

Let the rain fall.

The memories found me

I will let them drown me.

I will stand it all.

Let the rain fall.

Until it drowns me in

The tears I’ve cried within.

It’s Tuesday everyday

A cold November rainy day.

It never came to pass.

It’s Tuesday everyday

Ten to three, no give or take.

The rain’s going to last.

Bridge:

Too long

I’ve remembered now to forget

The wrong

You did I savored without regret.

Chorus:

I will stand tall.

Let the rain fall.

The memories found me

I will let them drown me.

I will stand it all.

Let the rain fall.

Until it drowns me in

The tears I’ve cried within.

Fill my lungs with pain

Till I can’t ever breathe again.

Fill my lungs with pain

Till I can’t ever breathe again.

Hand of God

2009-09-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

You are my Hand of God…

Purest of hearts

Embraced by the dark.

Once so divine

Now forgot how to shine.

Bridge:

Easier to fall

Looking down on such a beatiful abyss.

Your face was there and death was bliss.

Chorus:

Be the hand of God.

End my love for you

For you love me not.

So I know

My soul truly belongs in hell.

Cuz I know

You’re going there as well.

You are my Hand of God.

Darkest of nights

Cold dispair by my side.

Once so in love

But one is never enough.

Bridge:

Easier to fall

Looking down on such a beatiful abyss.

Your face was there and death was bliss.

Chorus:

Be the hand of God.

End my life for me

For you love me not.

So I know

My soul truly belongs in hell.

Cuz I know

You’re going there as well.

You are my Hand of God.

Shame & Hurt

2009-09-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

You won’t remember

Many years from now.

I’ll be just a stranger,

Cold and homeless, broken down.

Chorus:

I wanted nothing more

Than I deserved.

So this is all I’m left with –

Shame and hurt.

Bridge:

After all this Purgatory

This is how you remember me?

You won’t remember

The lines of my face.

Just an ugly stranger,

Old and dying, in disgrace.

Chorus:

I wanted nothing more

Than I deserved.

So this is all I’m left with –

Shame and hurt.

Bridge:

After all this Purgatory

This is how you remember me?

After all this Purgatory

This is how you remember me?

My sin has found me out

I could never deserve what I was living without.

So this is all I’m left with –

Shame and hurt.

Shame

and

Hurt.

Poster

2009-09-19T13:31:00.001-07:00

Promo Videos

2009-09-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Hallucination

2009-09-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

You live inside me

Like a demon no confession can purge.

There’s no fighting

A warded-off memory’s sure to emerge.

Bridge:

And I don’t have to close my eyes

Anymore.

And I don’t have to close my eyes

Like before.

Chorus:

I chose what to believe is real.

Not everything broken knows how to heal.

I’ve gone insane in my grief

Unbearable pain when you decided to leave.

I live inside you

Like a hallucination that became real.

I don’t mind you

Beautiful distortion of all I hear,I see,I feel.

Bridge:

And I don’t have to close my eyes

Anymore.

And I don’t have to close my eyes

Like before.

Chorus:

I chose what to believe is real.

Not everything broken knows how to heal.

I’ve gone insane in my grief

Unbearable pain when you decided to leave.

You’re not a hallucination.

I chose what to believe is real.

You’re not my imagination.

I found my own way to heal.

Too Late

2009-09-03T04:28:00.000-07:00

Every now and then you cross the line

It makes me toss and turn in bed at night

Waking up all tears and sweat at dawn

With midnight nightmares still not gone.

Cause God…

Bridge:

I could swear I just saw you in the mirror

With a stranger in your face and getting nearer

To the lips I whispered to the only words

I’ve never told anybody else on earth.

Chorus:

How does it feel to kill a man?

You have, one day you’ll understand

What you’ve done to me and regret it

But too late, “Too Late” you said it

When I was kneeling at your feet

Yelling you’re my life and to breathe is all I need.

Every now and then you say you’re mine

While stealing what’s my own like a thief in the night

Wakin up to noone and all alone

To find that you’re not there, you’re gone.

And God…

Bridge:

I knew it I just saw you in the mirror

With a stranger in your face and getting nearer

To the lips I whispered to the only words

I’ll never tell anybody else on earth.

Chorus:

How does it feel to kill a man?

You have, one day you’ll understand

What you’ve done to me and regret it

But too late, “Too Late” you said it

When I was kneeling at your feet

Yelling you’re my life and to breathe is all I need.

What I Have Become

2009-08-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

My heart bleeds I could have never

Lived up to Your expectations.

Skin and scars for wings and feathers

Only human lost to salvation.

This world falls apart right in front of me.

Further from heaven, closer to hell.

Satan's spawn is what we've grown to be,

Heavenly children's souls up for sale.

My heart bleeds if I could ever

Atone for all my sins but one.

Skin and scars for wings and feathers

I'm not ashamed of what You've done.

I'M NOT ASHAMED OF WHO I AM.

I AM ASHAMED OF WHAT I HAVE BECOME.

Without

2009-08-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

Engulfing darkness sets in.

You kiss the scars on my skin

You dug yourself, like graves for each dream

Murdered in cold blood, still hear them scream?

Bridge:

I'll cut myself free

Even if I have to forfeit a part of me.

I'll cut myself free

Even if I have to cut half the heart of me.

Chorus:

I'll break loose.

Won't stay abused.

I'll live half the man I used to be

Without you, with what's left of me.

My black hole, sucking me in.

Tightening the rope from within.

Breathless I struggle, scratch your name on my skin.

The last scar I'll get from you, still hear me scream?

Bridge:

I'll cut myself free

Even if I have to forfeit a part of me.

I'll cut myself free

Even if I have to cut half the heart of me.

Chorus:

I'll break loose.

Won't stay abused.

I'll live half the man I used to be

Without you, with what's left of me.

Suffer In Silence

2009-07-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

What decease you brought upon me

No pill nor scalpel can take away?

What vengeance you wrought on me

As if God in Heavens Himself?

Bridge:

Am I the worst of all mankind

That I deserve you?

What better way to lose my mind

Than to hurt you?

Chorus:

My love, what’s preying on your mind?

Is it that I have done my time

And suffered in silence?

My love, I know what’s preying on your mind

It is that I pay you back in kind

And you’ll suffer in silence.

What decease you brought upon me

Now tears your own heart away.

What vengeance you wrought on me

Comes right back at yourself.

Chorus:

My love, what’s preying on your mind?

Is it that I have done my time

And suffered in silence?

My love, I know what’s preying on your mind

It is that I pay you back in kind

And you’ll suffer in silence.

Bridge:

Am I the worst of all mankind

That I still love you?

What better way to lose my mind

Than to hurt you?

Chorus:

My love, what’s preying on your mind?

Is it that I have done my time

And suffered in silence?

My love, I know what’s preying on your mind

It is that I pay you back in kind

And you’ll suffer in silence.

Whispers

2009-07-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

Bridge:

When will I lose my mind?

Breaking me takes a second,

Pain takes time…

Hear the whispers in my head,

Hear the voices beneath my bed.

They won’t let me sleep,

Won’t let me breathe,

Just let me be,

Let go of me.

Chorus:

Room of whispers I cannot leave,

Locked out and faithless, I make believe

You whisper ghostly in my ear,

Fleshless, boneless yet still here

Next to me, beloved ghost.

Stay with me, I make a toast

And drink up the poison that will end

My sufferings no one can understand.

Bridge:

When will I lose my mind?

Breaking me takes a second,

Pain takes time…

See the floating faces in my room,

See all those places in the gloom

They lurk in calling my name

My screamings all in vain,

Just let me be,

Let go of me.

Chorus:

Room of whispers I cannot leave,

Locked out and faithless, I make believe

You whisper ghostly in my ear,

Fleshless, boneless yet still here

Next to me, beloved ghost.

Stay with me, I make a toast

And drink up the poison that will end

My sufferings no one can understand.

Is there a peace for me to find…?

Please God let me lose my mind…

Ghost

2009-07-20T05:57:00.001-07:00

Bridge:

You can bury a heart

But you can’t bury a soul.

My love, death did us apart

But my ghost won’t rest in a hole.

My ghost will return

Our haunted house to burn

All remnants of a broken love never to be found

But this fire I’ll start inside of me it won’t ever die down.

Chorus:

Dead. I’ll find my own way

To come back to you and stay.

A whisper. A cracking of a door, you’ll know

When you feel tenderness so beyond your world.

Soon, my dear, you’ll see

I’ll never leave you like you left me.

Bridge:

You can bury a heart

But you can’t bury a soul.

My love, death did us apart

But my ghost won’t rest in a hole.

Ghosts don’t need a key.

Memories locked out now set free,

Remember my hand in yours,all back in your head

Flashbacks of the life we had before her, before I was dead.

Chorus:

Dead. I’ll find my own way

To come back to you and stay.

A whisper. A cracking of a door, you’ll know

When you feel tenderness so beyond your world.

Soon, my dear, you’ll see

I’ll never leave you like you left me.

I’ll be there.

You’re not alone.

I still care.

I’m still your own.

Right Or Wrong

2009-07-20T05:42:00.001-07:00

I have grown old

Sitting on a bench, dreaming.

I have gone cold

Lost my faith and my life’s meaning.

What have I done?

Lord knows I was never born blind.

I shut my eyes to the sun,

I myself have poisoned my mind.

I am wide awake.

I’ve been sleeping on it for too long.

Decisions to make,

Will take me somewhere, right or wrong.

Pearls Of Wisdom

2009-07-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

Dawn breaks crimson

Over silent battlefield.

Weeping pearls of wisdom

I let go of my shield.

So this is it, my war is over

Underneath a bleeding sky.

An angel on my shoulder

I must be dead or soon will I.

But I am not a bit afraid

of whatever is to come.

The life I’ve lived I’d never trade

What’s done can’t be undone.

Dawn breaks crimson

Over silent battlefield.

Weeping pearls of wisdom

I let go of my shield.

Borrowed Time

2009-07-20T05:38:00.001-07:00

What time is it, what day?
My time is but ticking away.
Golden locks now frail and grey,
Mirror,mirror on the wall, you say
My beauty has come to pass away.
I’m old and dying,now is it today?
I remember once I used to play,
Just a child who blinked the tears away.
Now my heart gets heavier by the day.
I try to tell you every night I pray
Loving you was the best thing,all the way.
To remember that is why I want to stay
Another day, just one more day.
I’m old and dying, please not today…

Memories Of A Broken Heart

2009-07-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

So far away,

Still close to my heart.

Photographs dusty grey

But memories left unmarred.

My darling love,

Dreams used to be young.

Hope alone is not enough

Though eternal it has sprung.

Yet further away,

Life goes on without you.

Memories dusty grey

But heart remains broken in two.

EPD (Excessive Psychological Dependence)

2009-07-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Bridge:

No other addiction
Makes me as high as you do.
My personal crucifixtion
To be hopelessly addicted to you.

Bittersweet destruction,
I feel too vulnerable not to relapse.
Your face, my pain – a chain reaction,
If I don’t have you in me now, I’ll collapse.

Chorus:

I need to overdose with you,
I do.
You’re heroin to my pain,
In my vein.
I need Heaven through you,
With you,
You’re cocaine to my blues,
YOU abuse.

Bridge:

No other addiction
Makes me as high as you do.
My personal crucifixtion
To be hopelessly addicted to you.

Unbearable withdrawal,
I crave you to the point of suicide.
Sleepless,hurting – I fall and crawl
To you,just one more hit before I die.

Chorus:

I need to overdose with you,
I do.
You’re heroin to my pain,
In my vein.
I need Heaven through you,
With you,
You’re cocaine to my blues,
YOU abuse.

Godforsaken

2009-07-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

My heart means nothing
Without a reason to beat.
Why then still struggling?
I know what I do need.

Bridge:

To forgive and forget.
Abandon myself to death.
Never hate and regret.
Not envy her every breath.

Chorus:

The only heaven I’ve wanted
I must drift away from.
Myself not you I’ve loathed
From now until ever on.

I come back to things
I thought were long gone.
Excruciating memories
They still tear at my lungs.

Bridge:

To cease to breathe.
Abandon myself to death.
And silence my need
Never deny yours instead.

Chorus:

The only heaven I’ve wanted
I must drift away from.
Myself not you I’ve loathed
From now until ever on.

Forsake me not.
I find yet another reason to die.
Forsake me,God
And I crawl up unless I can fly.

Vicodin

2009-07-05T05:13:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I was dying.
Woke up in the dead of night.
Night terrors so real they can’t be lying
They know just the place I’d hide.

Bridge:

They’re out to get me, savage me.
Their only weapon – you.
Takes just your name to damage me,
More than pain to put me through.

Chorus:

A new breed of torture
Leaving no dead man to grieve.
It feels worse than dying,
A pain no Vicodin can relieve.

Yet I am still living,
Bruised and broken, left for dead.
Death throes unabated by the pills I’m given
The more I take the more they mess up with my head.

Bridge:

They’re out to get me, savage me.
Their only weapon – you.
Takes just your name to damage me,
More than pain to put me through.

Chorus:

A new breed of torture
Leaving no dead man to grieve.
It feels worse than dying,
A pain no Vicodin can relieve.

Self-Sufficient

2009-06-26T03:01:00.000-07:00

Alone in hell.

Excruciated by a mere memory

Of someone I don’t remember and yet can’t forget.

Bridge:

My heart turned into a burial ground

For delusional reveries

That still come back to haunt me.

Chorus:

I am not enough

To fill the emptiness of you.

I am half of me

And I’ll bleed dead the way I do.

Alone I shall

Spend the rest of oh so dear eternity

With someone not living nor dead, but in my head.

Bridge:

My heart turned black and hellbound

By delusional memories

That still come back to taunt me.

Chorus:

I am not enough

To fill the emptiness of you.

I am half of me

And I’ll bleed dead the way I do.

Hypoxia

2009-06-19T04:57:00.000-07:00

My useless veins.

They’re empty within.

Hard to stay sane

In a pale blue skin.

You stand by watching

Every last cell of me die.

Coldest of hearts,not touching

For you to take a life?

Chorus:

Have you not known

I live and breathe you?

You’ve left me alone

As bad as I need you.

No air I breathe

Can take your place.

Now what I need’s

A quicker death than this.

Oh,oblivious coma,

My sweet sleeping death.

Come take me over

Gone is my final breath.

He stood by watching

The very last cell of me die.

Coldest of hearts,not touching

For him to take a life.

Chorus:

Have you not known

I live and breathe you?

You’ve left me alone

As bad as I need you.

No air I breathe

Can take your place.

Now what I need’s

A quicker death than this.

Fall And Burn

2009-06-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

Bridge:

Who’s to blame?

Soul to flame,

No revelation.

Who’s that patient?

Where’s the answer?

The cure to my cancer,

It’s so hard to die

When you’re not born to fly.

Chorus:

Empty of faith

Full of anger,

Give in to the pain,

Become a stranger

To all I once were.

Born to fall and burn.

My destiny is death.

My curse – my every breath

I take and live without you.

Forsake all hope, cry out to

Heaven to send angels down to me

And gently put me out of misery.

Chorus:

Empty of faith

Full of anger,

Give in to the pain,

Become a stranger

To all I once were.

Born to fall and burn.

Step up to the edge and jump

To the fear of death I’m numb

With no wings I will fly

To the place I’d fall and die.

Heaven send angels down to me

And gently put me out of misery.

Bridge:

Who’s to blame?

Soul to flame,

No revelation.

Who’s that patient?

Where’s the answer?

The cure to my cancer,

It’s so hard to die

When you’re not born to fly.

Song For You

2009-06-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

I wrote this song for you

You’ll never know you’ve put me through

What I’m going through

And only God in Heaven saw me through.

Bridge:

I still wear the scars from you

I can’t take them off no matter what I do

What I think is sad but true

I don’t want to, they’re a part of me that’s you.

Chorus:

I know I’ll be waiting for you

Even if it means I will be alone all my life.

My soul has been torn in two

And I no longer know what your face looks like.

I knew I’d be waiting for you

Even if it did mean I had been alone all my life.

I wrote this song for you

I’m not the same such harms you can’t undo.

What I’m going through

Only God knows the reason why He sees through.

Bridge:

I still wear the scars from you

I can’t take them off no matter what I do

What I think is sad but true

I don’t want to, they’re a part of me that’s you.

Chorus:

I know I’ll be waiting for you

Even if it means I will be alone all my life.

My soul has been torn in two

And I no longer know what your face looks like.

I knew I’d be waiting for you

Even if it did mean I had been alone all my life.

True Lies

2009-06-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

I swear I am not afraid

When you say I don’t know who you are.

Don’t you be ashamed

And try and hide your thousand scars.

I’ve got my own

And I will bare my soul to you.

You are not alone

I’m right here to bleed with you.

Chorus:

I’m willing to believe your lies

Cuz they’re my only truth.

I will learn to read your eyes

And see deep inside of you.

And you can lie to me again

But I will know the truth.

And you can lie to me again

But I will see right through.

I swear I am not ashamed

When you see who I really am inside.

Don’t you be afraid

This time you don’t have to try and hide.

I’m not like them

And you can bare your soul to me.

I’m the one I say I am

You can stay and bleed with me.

Chorus:

I’m willing to believe your lies

Cuz they’re my only truth.

I will learn to read your eyes

And see deep inside of you.

And you can lie to me again

But I will know the truth.

And you can lie to me again

But I will see right through.

The War Is Over

2009-06-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

Look at me. Inside.

I’m way too wrong for you to right.

Look at me. Alive.

Yet I’m too wounded to survive.

How do you know I am not dead?

You can’t see how bad I’ve bled.

How do you know I can be saved?

You can’t see how far I’ve strayed.

Look at you. Inside.

You’re way too wrong for me to right.

Look at you. Alive.

Yet you’re too wounded to survive.

How do I know you are not dead?

I can’t see how bad you’ve bled.

How do I know you can be saved?

I can’t see how far you’ve strayed.

We’re all fighting a losing battle.

And we have lost it all.

We’re all fighting a losing battle.

And we have to let go.

And all I ever want from you

Is to lie beside you.

And all I ever want from you

Is to die beside you.

Now that the war is over.

Reason For Disgrace

2009-06-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Take my tears

And wash away your sins.

I’m right here

As I have always been.

See my wrists are slit

I followed you

To the bottomless pit

I know it’s you.

Chorus:

It’s you I laid down my life for.

It’s you why I took that knife for.

Will you burn in my embrace,

Beloved reason for my disgrace?

Take my dreams

And see us in my reverie.

Sacrifice supreme

To have you next to me.

See my wrists are slit

I followed you

What a sin to commit

To be with you.

Chorus:

It’s you I laid down my life for.

It’s you why I took that knife for.

Will you burn in my embrace,

Beloved reason for my disgrace?